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Gerrit Rietveld
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Step 2, 12 steps towards enlightenment
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,
t:twelve
steps towards enlightenment, intro
THE 12
COMMANDMENTS FROM THE ULTIMATE ORGANIC CARROT
1. If you were not you and they were not they,
how different would it be?
2. If you dont know me, then how do you know it is me?
3. What is the secret the monkeys hide about the evolution from the
humans?
4. How many things can you say without saying anything?
5. If you are paranoid, does it mean theyre not after you?
6. Are you breathing or is something breathing you?
7. Are we infinitely or definitely replaceable?
8. Do we want to promote hope as a way out?
9. How parallel are the parallel universes with stupidity?
10. Who is more beautiful: The Beauty or The Sleeping Beauty?
11. Why?
12. And Again Why?
___________
Important Notice:
Any coincidence with actual facts and events with some other bright minds
from the universe is just another fact confirming the brilliance of The
Ultimate Organic Carrot.
t:twelve
steps towards enlightenment,
step 2
Step 2.1
The Lawyer went to see Snow White to give her legal advice in case she
wanted to sue her mother because of wishing precisely
as white skin as the snow, hair as black as the ebony tree
and lips as red as blood.
When she was born, her mother died of shock. Snow White did have
a white skin as the snow, black hair as the ebony tree,
lips as red as blood and nothing else.
She grew into a pale, shapeless, skin creature with a lot of black hair
growing from everywhere, except from the red lips. Her brain had to be
removed, so there would be more space for the lips.
They were magical: they could turn into anything the client wishes.
I want to sue The Seven Dwarfs for not loving me anymore. I want
everything they own, including their bodies and souls.
The Lawyer was just a regular man, who couldnt resist those red lips that
can be anything, and told her hell win the case,
after she fulfills his request.
He came close to Snow White and on the place where he thought should be an
ear, he whispered slowly and precisely. Then, he moved away, put his pants
down, while repeating:
Get on your knees. Its time to pray.
And he went down on his knees and started praying, since his ultimate wish
was becoming reality. It was shamelessly standing in front of him and
looking straight into his third eye.
The Lawyer couldnt breath from excitement and without any further delays
and objections; he penetrated deeply into the perfectly shaped,
hummingbirds vagina.
Step 2.2
___________
The Philosopher has written two best sellers Why? and
And Again Why? explaining the mystery behind The Ultimate Organic
Carrot.
Every copy of his third book Why Is Not The Question is destined to have
bad karma forever.
It is his most popular and discussed book, although no one ever read it.
Many people believe the book contains the answer for Why, while others are
still mystified for And Again Why.
Hes the creator of the P.O.C.M Philosophys Organic Carrot Method.
It develops the ability of looking in the past, the present and the
future.
It is a complicated method involving seeing everything and explaining
nothing.
The Philosopher died from self-awareness.
Step 2.4
The Housewife was having the most beautiful house in The Suburb.
It was big and white with shiny windows,
big porch and Garden of Eden.
She had somewhat of everything in her garden. It was like Noahs ark with
fruit and vegetables. Everything was handled with perfect care, under the
climate and the conditions they are used to. They were The Housewifes
best friends, she talked to them, carefully listened to them, fed them,
watered them and she bathed them.
And most importantly everything was 100% organic.
The Organic Carrots, of course were her invention and she became a
billionaire who holds the whole organic carrots industry. She was also The
Gunmother of The Organized Organic Carrots Underground. The people, who
wanted to breakdown her campaign, were always finishing in two ways. They
would either join The Housewife or The Gunmother and her clan and start
worshiping The Organic Carrots, or they would end up dying of persuasion
about That One.
The Housewife has a company that developed many products, but were mostly
famous for their The Complete Organic Carrots Full Pleasure Collection
For Men And Women Only and The Complete Organic Carrots Full Pleasure
Collection For Everybody.
The Authorities took The Housewife to court because they discovered The
Prince Charmings horse raped and left on the street with 23 organic
carrots in his ears and anus. It seemed to them The Complete Organic
Carrots Full Pleasure Collection For Everybody might give the wrong ideas
to the children.
The Rabbits didnt agree with The Authorities and supported The Gunmother.
Especially after they had the winner (and the only survivor) of the
contest for choosing The Rarabbit. He was the only one who managed to
fellate The Organic Carrot, swallow it as a whole and come loudly and
ejaculate, while extracting the whole organic carrot from his ass pipe.
All the other Rabbits who died in vain trying to do the same thing as The
Rarabbit were nicely cooked with organic carrots and white wine. It was a
feast for all The Rabbits, eating meat from the best and the bravest ones
and drinking freshly squeezed organic carrots juice. All of them were
worshiping The Rarabbit, who in return was inspiring them to experiment
more with The Organic Carrots. And they did, and were all living happily
ever after, except the ones who were
experimenting with make up.
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